Mourning: A Mash-Up of History, Art, and Individuality – James Brooks
Let’s face it—mourning is weird. It’s this deeply personal, universal thing that we all do differently. Everybody in their life will do it, but not many like to talk about it. Imagine mixing Ernest Buckmaster’s Portrait of the Artist’s Mother with an ancient Greek lekythos and a dash of your favourite song and a meat pie. Intrigued? Let’s dive in.
Picture this: The lady in a black dress from Buckmaster’s painting meets an ancient Greek vase. They start a conversation about grief (weird, right?). She’s all about the heavy, visible mourning—you know, the full Victorian vibe. But the lekythos, used for funerary rites around 430 BCE, is like, “Hey, I’m more about rituals and offerings.”
Now, think about your own mourning style. Are you more Victorian traditionalist or ancient Greek ritualist? Or maybe you’re neither – maybe you mourn by binge-watching old sitcoms and eating ice cream.
Speaking of rituals, imagine combining old and new. What if, instead of traditional hymns, you played ’90s boy band hits at a funeral? It sounds bonkers, but music shapes our grieving process in surprising ways. What songs connect you to your loved ones? Would you go classical hymn or a pop hit? All genres have their place in mourning.
Then there’s the food. Picture a graveside picnic with your loved one’s favourite snacks. It might sound odd, but sharing a meal can be a comforting way to remember someone. What quirky rituals bring you peace? Maybe it’s something as simple as eating a meat pie from their favourite pie shop.. with them.. at their grave, yearly. And you reminisce about them. Sounds pretty normal, doesn’t it?
Flowers at funerals? Now, that’s a classic. But what if you swapped them for something unexpected, like origami cranes or handmade mementos? They still symbolise respect to a memory, but with a personal twist and tradition. How would you put your own spin on an offertory? An oil filled lekythos.. a beautiful painted portrait perhaps?
Let’s dive deeper into the rituals that shape our mourning processes. Imagine a funeral where, instead of a sombre procession, there’s a colourful parade with everyone dressed in the deceased’s favourite colours. The ceremony might include storytelling sessions where friends and family share their favourite memories, blending tears with laughter. What would such a celebration of life look like for you?
Consider the tangible aspects of remembrance. Some people create memory boxes filled with items that remind them of their loved ones. Others make standing stone monuments, you might plant a tree in their honour, watching it grow and change with the seasons – a living testament to their life.
No matter what you choose, grief and mourning doesn’t have to follow a script. Mix it up. Combine elements from history, art, and your own quirks to create a mourning experience that feels right for you. Whether you’re channelling Victorian vibes, ancient rituals, or just being your unique self, remember: It’s all valid. Your way is the right way.
James Brooks currently works within the local Funeral Industry and is also a photographer. Previously he had a dynamic role at New England Focus magazine.
Image credits:
Ernest Buckmaster, Portrait of the artist’s mother (detail), 1931, oil on canvas. Gift of Howard Hinton 1939. Howard Hinton Collection.
Lekythos [grave offering] (detail), c. 430 BCE, ceramic, Attica, Greece. MA1961.1.1. UNE Museum of Antiquities.
